Do You Know Who You Are ? Part One

Getting to know your self better, I think one is of the main reasons that a lot of people have problems within their lives. It’s purely because they often act and behave not as themselves.When they tell you their name is that really who they, are over my lifetime I have read a lots of self-help books, and this particular phrase seems to pop up quite a lot know thyself, it’s all about getting to know yourself on a far deeper level than you ever imagined.

I can always remember watching a lecture on DVD and somebody saying to the person whom was doing it this he was at a particular stage in his life, and somebody said the exact same thing to him “do you know who you are” and person answered promptly by telling the person his name.

The particular person who was asking him this question said to him that that isn’t who you are that is your name, if you ask anybody the same question you will probably get the same answer.

Let’s now look at some of the reasons why it’s good idea to get to know yourself on a much deeper level, there may be many things in your lifetime or many experiences, where you may have wanted to try to do something out before you have even tried to do it.

And decided in your own mind that it wouldn’t work or you would fail at it without even knowing what the actual outcome the problem with this is sort of thinking it’s quite catastrophic in nature you don’t really know how well you would or wouldn’t do at a particular activity until you actually try to do it.

We don’t like to try new things sometimes because it takes us right out of our comfort zone, and somewhere in the back of our minds either something or some experience which might have happened in the past will be rattling around in our subconscious minds.

Mentally stopping us from doing a particular thing you could probably compare it to a car having its brakes stuck on all the time and not really going anywhere, we don’t particularly like to try somethings in life because ultimately we think we might fail.

And it’s all due to the fact that we get butterflies in our stomach and that feeling of anxiety which tends to be in the bottom of our stomach, then we can tend to build a picture in our minds of is actually doing the task or whatever is we want to do and then failing.

The thing is failure tends to work like a feedback system or you could say it’s a bit backwards in the way it works we tend to think it’s happened even before it’s happened, so ultimately what tends to happen to is that we stay where we are and don’t do the particular task or whatever it may be.

And stay as we are in our safe zone the problem is we have to realise ourselves to what is going on here, what is it that we are particularly afraid of the simple answer is nothing really it is just a feeling.

So really in essence all we are frightened of is having that feeling of overall failure, I would say these sort of beliefs tend to come from things that may have happened in your past think back to when you were a child. Let’s say for instance your in a classroom and the teacher asks a question so hoping you know the right answer you put your hand up.

You answer the question and it may end up being the wrong one, so because that has happened you tend to feel a bit humiliated and your pride can be heard, I can also remember myself being in a particular class at one time, and the teacher asked a question.

And I put my hand up and just blurted out the answer, it was the wrong one and also it tended to had a bit of a double meaning, which tended to be funny of course the whole class burst into laughter and I felt like two inches tall, so perhaps later on in life we might want to be able to do something.

But our brain remembers the last time that we try to do something and became humiliated, the whole problem with this is it can tend to affect all of your life, if you think about that say for example the fear of failure what you have here is a label.

That you have put something on which is namely fear but there is another way to look at this why not relabel fear as something else for example happy fear, exciting fear, funny funny fear. Hopefully you can see a pattern now building with this it’s the label, that you give to the words that provide the association with the feeling.

Having a fear of failure can be one of the most crippling things in your life there may be so many things that you want to do, but can’t because ultimately you tend to think you’re going to fail even before you have actually done the particular task in hand.

This is what is known as catastrophic thinking, the particular problem is everything can become attached to this one particular thing if you draw a circle on a piece of paper, and put fear of failure in it, and then think about all the things that is attached to you will see a pattern forming so we have fear in the middle and we have branches coming off, to other things and so on.

And in another branch coming off in one of the circles we have talking and approaching women, in another one we have fear of public speaking.

To be continued.

In the next part of this post I will go into things in more detail and share some tips on how to find who you are.

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